Tough Decisions
by drypen
Summary: Marshall is called upon to make a decision he hoped he'd never have to.
1. Prologue & Chapter 1

**_A/N: One of two obligatory post-"Don't Cry" stories that have been floating through my gray matter. I may not have the law exactly right here, but it works for my story so I'm claiming literary license. I was having a devil of a time with some of the dialogue in this story so I hope it doesn't suck. As usual, I own nothing of IPS, the characters, etc. etc._**

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Prologue

Marshall was at home for the first time in what seems like years. In actuality, it had been about 30-ish hours; since when he left for work the day before. He took the opportunity to shower, shave and put on clothes that hadn't been slept in. He looked longingly at the bed that beckoned his weary body like a siren call. But he was here on a mission. He went to his file cabinet and pulled out the document he hoped he would never need and headed back out.

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Chapter One

It had been about 14 hours since Mary had been brought to the hospital, her life hanging by a thread. That same thread was also tenuously holding together the emotional state of the four people gathered in the waiting room. Stan had gone back to the office to check in with Bobby and tackle the mountain of paperwork that Eleanor was coordinating for him.

At long last, Mary's surgeon had returned with news. They all huddled together, Marshall standing slightly behind the group. He felt awkward in his position as her best friend, yet not family. The surgeon reported that Mary's vitals were finally stable enough to start the operation to assess and repair the damage. He discussed is broad terms what their plan was and answered a few questions. The wave of relief that swept over the group at getting to the next part of the treatment was short lived with the next words that came out of his mouth.

"This next operation is very tricky and unfortunately I can't guarantee anything at this point." He looked at the pained expressions on his patients' family and continued, "because of this, we need to know what Mary's wishes would be if," he took a deep breath, "if this surgery is unsuccessful."

Raph and Jinx looked at each other in confusion and disbelief, and Jinx tried to reply, "Well, I….I don't know." She said almost pleading for guidance.

Marshall stepped forward almost reluctantly, gathered his composure and said "She has a living will." He cast quick glances at Jinx and Raph, who were looking at him like he'd sprouted a third eye, "and I hold her medical power of attorney."

Words tumbled out of Jinx's mouth like a waterfall. "What? Why wasn't I told about this? What does that mean?….I don't understand what…" The look on Raph's face told a different story. More like _why am I not surprised she didn't tell me about this either._

The doctor cut her off in mid-brain dump. "Mr. Mann, what would she want?"

"Basically, she doesn't want extreme measures taken if the only result of them would be to prolong her life tied to a machine." He fidgeted with his hands and tried not to look at her family. "She would rather us let her go than let her live in a vegetative state." Jinxed gasped at that.

"That can't be true! She'd want to fight!", Jinx screeched.

He shook his head as if to clear it and looked at the doctor, "She spelled out specific guidelines, it's in the living will."

"Do you happen to have the documents with you?" , the doctor asked.

Marshall shook his head and replied, "No, I have them at home. I can be back with them in half an hour."

"We don't need them quite that soon. We still need to make some arrangements and get her prepped. You have time to take care of a few things for yourself if you need to while you're home. In the mean time, we'll have you look over these forms and sign them so we can get started".

Jinx looked at the doctor with eyes pleading, "But, but I'm her mother! I should be doing that, shouldn't I?"

"I'm sorry Mrs. Shannon, but if she's signed a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, then that person is the one we need to consult for decisions. Even though you are her mother, she's entrusted Mr. Mann with these decisions and we have to respect that."

The doctor led Marshall out of the waiting room as Jinx collapsed in a heap in the chair and Raph and Brandi tried their best to console her. "But I'm her mother!" she sobbed over and over.


	2. Chapter 2

The doctor and Marshall talked in more detail a bit about the procedure they were going to try to use to repair the damage to Mary's body. He both thanked and cursed his medical knowledge. It was definitely going to be risky, but he was glad he understood what she was in for. If it worked, she should be able to eventually make a full recovery. If not…well, he didn't want to think about it.

"Do you have any questions or can I clarify anything for you?" the doctor asked.

"No, I think I got it. She always tells me my head is full of useless information. Unfortunately, it's not so useless right now. A blessing and a curse, I guess." Marshall said, rubbing his forehead. He took the pen the doctor offered and started signing.

"Well, we really do have a bit of time before we need the documents for the file. Do yourself a favor and take a couple of hours or so to sleep and eat. I think her family is going to be wanting to ask lots of questions when you get back. If I'm not available, you can give them to the nurse here and she'll make the necessary copies."

"Thanks. I'll be back soon." With that Marshall took one last look through the door's window at the group huddled together in the waiting room and sighed deeply. He turned away and headed for home.

***********

Marshall called Stan while he drove to update him and to see if there was any news on the shooter. There were no new leads, but APD was running the blood and shell casings through the system to see if anything popped up. In the mean time, he was doing a quick threat assessment on Mary's witnesses and took the opportunity to pick Marshall's brain to see if he had any thoughts for suspects that didn't involve the neighborhood badasses. They promised to keep each other updated and hung up as Marshall pulled into his driveway.

He dropped his keys, wallet and phone on the coffee table and headed into the kitchen. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and upon opening it, took a long pull from it. Looking through the fridge, he found some leftovers and set them in the toaster oven to heat up while he took a shower. As he headed to the bedroom, he finished emptying his pockets and in his suit jacket he found Mary's badge. The discovery rocked him back on his heels. It must have been in her pocket because she purposely wasn't wearing it while in that neighborhood. Bobby had her gun in evidence and Stan took the empty holster and extra ammo mag she had. He thought hard, but couldn't remember how he'd ended up with her badge. He ran his fingers over it, then put it on the nightstand with his own and his weapons. He'd make sure it got back to its rightful owner he told himself.

The hot water of the shower washed over him like a tidal wave, but it couldn't wash away the dispair he felt. He stood under the water, drinking his beer and contemplating just how he was going to explain to Jinx and Raph why he, and not they, was making Mary's life and death decisions. Truth is, they made life and death decisions for each other every time they went into a hostile situation. But this was different. He couldn't think or strategize their way out of this one; couldn't rely on his aim or quick reflexes. This time, with the stroke of a pen, he had told the doctors to let her go if things went bad. He'd rather be in that damn abandoned gas station again with a hole in his chest than standing there holding that pen with a hole in his heart.

He got dressed, put all his gear back on and looked again at Mary's badge. Picking it up, he vaguely remembered Stan asking him to hold it for safekeeping. Stan must have thought it would make a good substitute for a security blanket for him. He smiled at the thought, running his fingers over it again then slipped it into the inside pocket of his jacket. His bed looked so comfortable, but he felt he really needed to get back. The doctor was right, there would be a million questions when he got back and he really didn't want to make them wait any longer than necessary.

The documents were in the fire-rated file cabinet he kept in his home office. When he filed them away there, in the back of the bottom drawer, he never expected to need them. If anything, he expected her to have the power of attorney changed to Raph and was kind of surprised that she hadn't done it already. Knowing Mary though, she probably hadn't given the papers any thought since she signed them. He looked them over as he ate, absorbing the details under which he would be letting her go. He actually knew the details quite well, as they were the same as in the papers he signed on the same day.


	3. Chapter 3

When Marshall returned to the hospital, the doctor was already prepping for the surgery, so he gave the documents to the nurse so she could copy them for the file. He asked her to make an extra copy of the living will for him. She returned with his originals and the extra copy a few minutes later and told him the family was still in the waiting room.

He took a deep breath and entered the waiting room, startling Jinx and Raph. They had both almost drifted off to sleep. He apologized for waking them and turned to leave, but Raph motioned to the chair across from him and asked him to sit. Brandi readjusted in her chair and drifted off again, leaving him to talk to the others.

Jinx rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked at Marshall. He couldn't tell if the look in her eyes was hurt over Mary's injury or the fact that her motherly duties had been usurped by the man sitting across from her.

"Any news?" she asked.

"They're prepping her for surgery now. Will probably take three to four hours, at least."

She nodded her head in acknowledgement and wrestled up the courage to ask the question she'd wanted answered since her daughter's partner had left earlier. "When did she decide to make out a living will? She never mentioned it to me. And, no offense, but why you?"

"None taken." He handed her the extra copy of the document he had made and said "If she ever asks where you got it, do me a favor and tell her you beat it out of me."

They each chuckled in understanding. At this point, they hoped she'd be around to read them the riot act about it.

Marshall started, "A few years ago, we were providing assistance to marshals in Chicago by transporting a fugitive from El Paso."

He paused and looked at Raph, seeing in his eyes the mental image of replacing fugitive with witness. He continued, "Somehow, the guys the fugitive was about to turn state's evidence on got wind of when he would be arriving and sent out a welcoming committee. Upon our arrival in Chicago with the fugitive, all hell broke loose and one of the marshals meeting us was shot. After the dust settled and the fugitive was safely turned over. We went to the hospital to check on the condition of our fellow marshal. Turned out that he didn't have any immediate family and there was no one there to make decisions on his behalf. And with the newer medical privacy laws, they wouldn't tell even his partner anything beyond the basics. The doctors did the best they could but he slipped into a coma. He remained in that condition for a few days while they tried to find anyone to notify. Eventually, he passed on."

He paused to gather his thoughts. "On the trip back from Chicago we talked about it and decided that we just couldn't let that happen to each other. So we found a lawyer to draw up living wills for each of us and gave each other medical power of attorney." He looked at Jinx who was trying hard to process what was hearing. "At the time, you and Brandi were living in New Jersey and Raph, I don't think she had even met you yet. She asked me to do it because you were so far away, and honestly, she didn't think you would be willing to make the decision she would want. I wasn't even sure I could, but I guess now I know…", his voice trailed off.

Marshall looked down at the floor between his feet and ran his hands through his hair. "Fortunately, when I got shot last year, I wasn't hurt badly enough for her to have to make any life or death decisions for me, but I was glad she could if she needed to. It was a weight off my mind knowing she would.

Jinx looked at her hands as if they held answers, then looked back at Marshall. "But I guess I don't understand why this," she shook the papers, "this prevents me from making those decisions. I am her mother, after all." She looked to Raph who put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She continued "And he's going to be her husband. We should have some say in the matter."

Raph, who had been disarmingly quiet through all this, jumped in at this point, his frustration finally boiling over. "That is just so typical of Mary. Everything with her is a secret. Can't, no wait, _won't_ tell us anything. How many close calls like that has she had since then? Oh, you probably won't tell me either. She tosses us crumbs and expects us to be happy." He stood up and walked a few feet away mumbling something in Spanish.

Marshall sighed and gave Raph a sympathetic look, "Look, I know this is difficult for both of you, but the law provides each of us the right to decide who we want making these tough decisions for us. For a variety of reasons, that person is not always the next of kin. I have my own reasons for wanting Mary to do it and not my sister, who's my only remaining family. Mary can revoke the power of attorney anytime she wants and name someone else if she chooses. But right now, at the end of the day, it comes down to this: until she says otherwise, she's given me the honor and obligation of speaking for her when she can't." He looked Raph in the eye, "And it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

He reached over and put his hand on Jinx's. "She would want to fight, as long there was a victory worth having."

She put her other hand on top of his and said "Thank you. I'm glad she has you looking out for her. Heaven knows she doesn't let us do it."

"Well, I have plenty of battle scars from trying to help her and it's not always easy to be her friend, but it does have its rewards."

Seeing that they had no further questions and he not knowing what else to say, Marshall got up and after putting a reassuring hand on Raph's shoulder (who had calmed down a bit), moved to a far corner of the waiting room to read the magazines he brought from home, leaving Jinx and Raph to read the document he gave them. He can see the tension and worry surrounding them and almost feel the frustration being projected his way from Raph. Not that he could blame him, but it's not his fight to have with Mary. Raph will have to take it up with her when she recovers, he reminded himself. He watched them flip through the twenty or so pages of specifics. He was pretty sure that after they've had time to go through it, they'd have questions about what some of the medical jargon means. But for now, he gave them space to absorb yet another batch of surprises from Mary and was thankful for the chance to get lost in the latest issue of Archeology Today.


	4. Chapter 4

Four hours or so later, Marshall woke up with a start, rousted by his phone. The magazine that had fallen across his chest skittered to the floor as he fumbled for the phone.

"Hey Stan. What's up?" He said, still trying to shake the cobwebs out.

"Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, but it's ok. My back is probably going to have something to say about sleeping for so long in this chair. Anything new on your end?" Upon pulling himself upright, he found he was right about his back.

"No. The DNA on the blood is still in process and I think the crime scene team has almost given up hope of finding the bullet out there. They'll keep looking a little while longer. What about there? Is she out of surgery yet?"

"I don't think so." He looked around and saw that Raph had staked out a patch of floor in the corner to sleep on. Wise choice, he thought, massaging his neck. Jinx was sleeping with her feet up on a chair, curled up in Raph's jacket again and Brandi was nowhere to be found, probably getting some fresh air. "Looks like we all took the opportunity to catch a nap."

"Yeah, I sent Eleanor home to do the same and managed to catch a couple of hours here myself. Well, I'll let you get back to try to catch some more shut-eye. Call me when you hear something."

"Will do, chief." He closed his phone and stood up trying to stretch the kinks out.

About that time, Brandi walked in with a grocery bag. Upon seeing Marshall awake, she went over to talk to him.

"Hi. I went out and got some drinks and munchies. Help yourself." She looked around, "I take it the doctor hasn't come by."

He thanked her and pulled a bottle of water and an apple from the bag. "Not yet, I was just thinking of going to ask."

"I guess I slept through you telling mom about the living will thing. I'm sorry to ask, but can you give me the highlights?"

He gave her the Reader's Digest version of the story he told the others then pointed to the papers on the chair next to Jinx. "It's over there if you want to look at it. I asked them to tell Mary, if she found out that I gave it you, that you all beat it out of me."

Brandi snorted a laugh "Yeah, otherwise we'll be visiting you here next."

Marshall smiled a bit. "Thank you, but I've spent enough time in this place, on both sides of the door". He took a drink of the water and thanked her again.

He picked up his magazine and was just about to sit back down with it when the doctor came in. Brandi went to wake up the others as Marshall studied the man's face for clues. Raph and Jinx quickly woke up and the doctor finally spoke.

"She's out of surgery, and it looks like if she makes it through the next 24 hours, she should make a good recovery." Anticipating Jinx's first question, he continued, "We won't know about any permanent damage until she wakes up, but for now, everything looks as well as we could possibly hope for at this point."

Brandi squealed and practically knocked Marshall over as she jumped to hug him. It was the first bit of good news they'd had in this whole ordeal. There was a long way to go, but at least right now, the light at the end of the tunnel didn't feel like an oncoming train.

Marshall excused himself to go call Stan. He stepped outside into the last light offered by the setting sun. The sunset looked even more beautiful than usual. He relayed the good news to Stan and decided he should go home and get some real sleep. Before he could leave though, Raph came out to talk.

"Marshall, I'm sorry for the grilling I gave you earlier."

"Don't worry about it. This has been a rough time for all of us. I understand."

"It's just that, this was just another curveball thrown at me by Mary. I was pretty good at hitting curveballs, but the ones she throws I just can't read sometimes."

"Look Raphael, I don't want to get between you and Mary, but I owe it to her to do what I can when she asks.

"No, I'm glad you've got her back. It makes the unknown a bit easier to deal with. Anyway…" he stuck out his hand which Marshall shook, "thanks again."

Marshall nodded in reply, "You should probably see if the ladies will let you take them home for a while. I think you all could use a good night's sleep and a real meal. I'm headed home to do the same. Please call me if you hear anything and I'll do the same. I'll be back first thing in the morning."

"That sounds like a great idea. We'll see you later. Take care."

With that, Marshall turned to leave. Things could have turned out much differently, but tonight, there was reason for hope that he'd be able to soon return the badge burning a hole in his pocket to its rightful place on his partner's hip.


End file.
